I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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