I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
