I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
love makes seman taste better
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
