Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
