i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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