you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
