I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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