i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
