either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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