I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We had to coat check the pizza.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
