i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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