i think i have herpe
just one?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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