I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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