im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His hands were made for my vagina.
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his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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