I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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