we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
