I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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