WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
