also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Be still, my beating vagina.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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