a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
