Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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