Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
