I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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