i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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