sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
