yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
