apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
