remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
