I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
