What did we do last night that was yellow?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Bring me that man meat
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize