He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
