Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
