just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
