so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
