It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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