We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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