how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
