Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Are we still banned from the library?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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