I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
