So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
