I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
