P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
