god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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