i think my mom watched the whole time
he was CRYING into my vagina
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
