you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
