I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
