I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
