don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
