Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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