My Higher Power is John Stamos
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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