Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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