Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Randomize
