Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
