She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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