I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
