I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
