yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
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It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
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The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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