Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
