Fine. I'll sleep in my office
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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