Redeem this text for a blowjob
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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