So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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