I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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