matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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