Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize