when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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